Hello World, I think I owe you all an apology. I've done some things in my past that I'm not proud of, and I want to step up and admit it. First of all, the whole Garden of Eden thing was a big mistake. I made those two brats, who had a combined IQ similar to that of a gin-drunk squirrel. And then I plunked down a big tree in the middle of everything with some freaking delicious fruit all over it, and I told them not to touch it. Pretty stupid, in retrospect. And that crap I pulled with Job, letting Satan take his sheep and kill his kids and give him boils and all the rest of it? That was horrible. I'd been drinking when we made that bet. But I talked to Job and took him a fruitcake and he's cool with it now. But those things aren't what I really want to talk about. Right now, I want to apologize for this: Remember how at first, everybody thought someone had sewn a duck's bill to a beaver? That was pretty much what actually happened. I was running out of ideas, so I let this hot angel named Castiel make some stuff while I took a nap. When I woke up, he'd made that crazy thing and named it a "platypus" because he'd drunk a liquor store and was slurring a lot. And he'd made giraffes. And ocelots, but ocelots actually turned out pretty well. So, yeah. Sorry about the platypus and the resulting confusion. There's one thing I created that has always haunted me, though. I really, really don't know what I was thinking. He's . . . well, he's going to reign in hell, let me tell you, because I'm sure as $#!t not giving him a cloud and a harp. The little hairless ape keeps taking souls away from me and calling them his "minions." If it hadn't been done already, I'd feed him to a whale. So, World, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for both the platypus and for Misha Collins. Screw that guy. Love, God   P.S. I'm in Bangkok trying to have a vacation. Tell Castiel and those simpering Winchesters to stop looking before I smite them.     Created by Team #471 for GISHWHES item #214. Images used from Wikipedia under creative commons: [platypus] [hairless ape]